


And it felt perfect, incredible and every synonym you could possibly find.

by brxveSam



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s02e11 Playthings, First Kiss, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5170463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brxveSam/pseuds/brxveSam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in s02e11 'Playthings'<br/>'If I ever turn into something that I'm not, you have to kill me!<br/>Story in which Sam gets really drunk and asks impossible things, has some interesting thoughts about Deans lips and Dean really loves Sams hair!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt on writing a fanfiction so please be nice!  
> I hope you like what i came up with at 1am!  
> Also english is not my first language and even though i have someone to proofread i don't know if my grammer and spelling is 100% right!  
> This is the first chapter. I don't know how many this will have in the end and I don't know how regular I can post them because of school and real life things that are necassary.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> And thanks to my best friend for proofreading!:)

'If I ever turn into something that I'm not, you have to kill me!' 

Sam wasn't exactly sure why he was asking Dean this but somewhere in his mind there was this small voice saying 'you have to have a plan B'.  
And if he was being honest to himself that voice was getting louder and louder ever since Dean had told him what Dad said to him before his death.  
So in case plan A which was not turning darkside didn't work out he would have Dean as his backup! 

In a different place in his foggy mind another voice told him that even if Dean had promised him not even 5 seconds ago  
that he would kill Sam if necassary he would never actually do it.  
But that part of his brain was too tired and burried too deep under all the alcohol to be important right now.  
Besides..he was really tired.

'Thank you!, Sam mumbled. 

He cupped Deans face and said it again. Now more clear then before. 'Thank you for always looking out, for always protecting me.'  
Sams eyes flickered to Deans mouth and he started to think about how soft his lips looked.  
The point of this conversation was completely forgotten.  
His face started to move even closer towards Deans by itself.  
\--------------------------------------------------------

Dean wasn't sure what to think of this whole situation.  
Sam was obviously completely drunk and wouldn't remember anything in the morning.  
Atleast that was what he hoped. 

'That's my job, right', replied Dean, 'looking out for my little brother.' 

He tried to wiggle out of the death grip Sam had around his face.  
Sam was clearly staring at his mouth and he wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge  
that Sam was probably thinking about his big brothers lips.  
Sams face came dangerously close to his. If Dean didn't stop this now they would probably do something  
they would both regret after.  
He gently pushed Sam away and maneuvered him into a lying position on his bed.  
He was already fast asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

Dean looked at his brother. He didn't know what to do with this kid. He was hopeing,  
hell praying to everything he could think of, that Sam wouldn't remember or even confront him with this situation!  
He loved his brother since he what seemed liked forever.  
And he wasn't talking about some kind of brotherly love! He was talking about real love. He wanted Sam!  
Everytime Sam came out of the shower with just a towel sitting low on his hips he had to turn away or Sam would notice him staring.  
When Sam was asleep next to him in the Impala he caught himself tracing every inch of his baby brothers face with his eyes.  
But who could blame him that kid was just too damn beautiful!  
Eveytime he mocked him about his ridiculously long hair he kept imagining carding his fingers through it like he always did when they were younger.  
He also imagined tangleing his fingers in it while they were kissing  
but he always tried to get rid of these thought by shaking his head and thinking of something completely different.  
He also kept daydreaming about them kissing and oh so much more!  
He had this fantasy of Sam pushing him up some Motel wall and kissing him sensless!

Sam was probably thinking that he went crazy by now because of the amount of times he caught Dean daydreaming.  
Dean always told him ha was thinking about some hot waitress from a diner they ate in 3 towns over but Sam had to be atleast a bit suspicious by now. 

he should really go to sleep. Bute his mind kept wandering to the "wall pushing and senseless kissing fantasy" he thought about earlier.  
He groaned in frustration. This was not helping at all!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to post more often but i can't promise anything!  
> Be nice and please leave some comments so i can get better at writing! :)
> 
> Again: thanks to my best friend for proof reading♥

Chapter 2

 

The next morning Sam woke up to an empty room. He had just enough time to think that Dean probably went out to work on their case before he had to sprint to the bathroom to emty his stomach. As he sat there infront of the toilette not daring to move he thought about last night. He couldn't remember all that much but he was fairly certain of two things:  
1\. He had asked Dean to kill him if he ever turned into something evil  
2\. He had had this undeniable urge to kiss Dean straight on the mouth(where ever that came from)

He had always been able to controle himself even when he was completely drunk.  
Dean had been his first chrush when he was about 13 but he had put it on the way they were living.  
No privacy and not much space. Always moving around so Dean was the only thing he could rely on.  
He had accepted that these feelings wouldn't go away.  
There was this constant burning low in his stomach that he had learned to live with.  
Every now and then it would hit him like a fist straight to the face.  
Sometimes when Dean was working on the Impala, sweaty and dirty with his shirt clinging to his body.  
Sometimes it was when they were in the car just driving and Sam is looking over just letting his eyes roam over Deans face.  
Drinking in the beauty of his big brother and when Dean looks over  
and these unbelievable green eyes stare through his hazel ones right into his sould he feels like the air is getting knocked out of him.  
He feels like there is not enough air and he can't breathe because of this overwhelming love he feels.  
From time to time he thinks he can see something similar in Deans eyes but he has never dared to ask Dean about it  
because he knows it can't be true. He knows he is making this up so he won't feel so sick and disgusted with himself.  
He knows they are brothers and that this isn't healthy but who the hell can blame him?!  
Dean is just fucking gorgeous and being the only constant thing in Sams life..what was he supposed to do? 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Sam was sitting there puking and deep in thoughts about what had happened,  
Dean was downstairs working on their case.  
Atleast he was trying but his mind kept wandering to his little brother and the events of last night.  
Just the thought of Sam maybe feeling the same as he did makes him want to run upstairs  
and throw his baby brother on the closest bed. But he couldn't do that!  
Sam had just been drunk and he was always clingy when he was drunk.  
He kept repeating this to himself to not go completely insane.  
He sure had noticed that Sam was staring an awful lot at him and he could probably say the same about himself.  
But Sam deserves a normal life and he will do everything to give it to him! And if he gives in to his(and maybe Sams) feelings,  
this isn't going to happen so he just has to ignore his feelings. There is just no other way!  
Sam always comes first! He has to watch out for him and protect him. Be the big brother he was  
brought up to be. And how could he be a good big brother if he lets his feelings ruin Sams life?!  
Besides there was still the fact that he had promised Sam to take him out if he ever became some kind of monster.  
Sam should really know better! Dean would never kill him no matter what he might or might not became.  
But Dean also knew that he would've asked Sam the same if their situations were reversed.  
So he couldn't really blame Sam. He had to find out if Sam could remember his promise of if the alcohol had washed it all away.  
There also was this case they had to work on so he should really go and check on Sam.  
But he couldn't bring himself to go to their room. Not just yet.  
He didn't know what to say to Sam or how to even look at him without giving anything about the last night away.  
He knew one wrong look and that kid would question him like there was no tomorrow.  
But he had to go up there anyway so just do it now..what could go wrong?  
Sam would probably come searching for him if he didn't go up there soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last chapter. It just felt right to end it right here.  
> I hope you will enjoy it and please leave me some comments:)
> 
> As always: many thanks to my best friend for proof reading!

Chapter 3

 

When Dean entered the door of their room he heard the shower going. He was relieved because he had a few minutes to think of what to say when Sam came out of the bathroom.  
'How are you feeling?' ; 'Headache?' ; 'Finished puking?'..he suddenly didn't remember what he would normally say. Last night had really fucked him up!  
While he was sitting there lost in thoughts he didn't even realise that Sam had come out of the shower. So now he was looking up to a half naked Sam with a still damp torso toweling his stupid hair.  
'Fuck', he muttered under his breath. Well that wasn't what he had planned to say. But his brains focus was on something entirely different than the phrases he had thought of only a minute ago.  
He knew he was staring but the view was just to breathtakingly beautiful to stop.  
'Enjoying the view'?, Sam asked with a voice he had never heared him use before and that did things to him..holy mother of  ..!  
He shook his head and looked up to his brother. Standing there with his messy and still damp hair, drops of water glistening on his incredibly toned muscles, Dean had to damit he was the most amazing thing he had ever seen! Aaand he was staring again. Mentally slepping himself out of his trance like state he finnaly remembered how to speak: 'How are you feeling?'

'I felt worse before so thats a win!' 

'Good..so no complete hard drive whipe?'

'Nope my memories of last night are still intact! I know that i asked you to kill me if i turn into a monster and I still mean it! 

'Shit Sam, you know I can't do that! I would rather die than be the one who kills you! You should really know me better than this!

'Dean you're the only one who can do it! Who else could I possibly ask to do this!'

'Nobody because i wont let you turn into something you're not! We can fight this..together! If anyone can do this it has to be us..nothing can kill the Winchesters this easy!'

'Okay Dean..thanks!', he would let it go for now but they defientely weren't done with this topic! Besides he also had some very different and distractibg thoughts in his head. He had cought Dean staring when he came out of the bathroom and that stare wasn't the stare of a conserned brother! His eyes had been dark green with want and this just gave him the streangth he needed to say the following: 

'You still haven't answered my question! You seemed like you were enjoying your view when I came out of the bathroom!'

Shit he had thought Sam would forget about that after talking about that whole killing and turning into a monster stuff! Wasn't that kid a smart motherfucker?!  
The wat he was standing there. Leaning on the doorframe, looking him over, practically undressing him with his eyes.  
Wrong! Wrong! WRONG! This wasn't supposed to happen! He was supposed to be the only one with these completely unmoral feelings! That's how it was supposed to be! He was supposed to have these feelings for the rest of his life..keep them a secret and never tell anyone about it! Sam was supposed to get out of this..to have a family. Dean was going to make sure of this. And that's why he could never ever even dream about Sam having the same feelings. Because how was he supposed to guarantee Sam a NORMAL life if he would end up loving his brother in just the wrong way?!  
But now this stupid kid was looking at him with these stupid hazel eyes he could never say no to! His gaze looking right into Deans soul, knowing every little secret he might have had. And Dean just didn't care anymore. His feet started walking towards Sam. Tangeling his fingers in Sams hair like he had always wanted to. Feelings Sams giant hands holding onto his hips and tugging him as close as possible. Their lips were only inches away from each other. Breathing each others air. Staring into each others eyes. And that gap between their lips closed on its own. Locking lips like it was the most ordinary, normal thing in the entire universe. Sam traced Deans lips with his tongue, asking for enterence. Deepening the kiss, Sam spun them around so that Dean was the one being pressed up against the wall.  
Dean made a note in his head that he had accomplished his fantasie and that it felt exactly as great as he thought it would!  
So they stood there, kissing, completely lost in the sensation and each other. And it felt perfect, incredible and every synonym you could possibly find! It felt like this was right, this was how it was always supposed to be!


End file.
